19 Things I learnt in the year 2019

Every year I end up saying “could this have been any worse” and promise myself to be productive and self-aware, but end up making the same mistake all over again. Heart-break, Anxiety, Promising myself that I won’t be doing the same mistake again but it’s a loop that I have fallen into and trying to get out it seem to be absolutely impossible. Reading so many self-help books didn’t help either and keep cussing myself “why am I like this” “maybe I wasn’t born to live this long” “what am I suppose to do?” and so on. So, here are the 19 things that I learnt this year:

  1. Make no promises: I am not going to make any promises anymore and end up feeling guilty of not doing it in future. Sometimes it’s better to live in the moment without planning anything because no matter what we are going to face: heart-breaks, loneliness and full of anxiety. Our problems will never come to an end; it will always get replaced by another new problem. Why not live in the moment and get full of surprises from our life, right?
  2. Have no Expectations: I have stopped having expectations from anyone in my life. I always had this myth about myself that I am not good in relationships and maybe that’s the reason I always end up being alone. Even though I thought I was bad in relationships, I had lot of expectations from everyone. From looking at my family celebrating my sisters’ birthday, I always thought I would get the same treatment but BOOM! I never got anything as I was really not good at studies and almost failed in my class 8 and had to study again in the same class with the juniors. So, it is better to not have any expectations, not from anyone and myself as well.
  3. Say no to Jealousy: Jealousy is the destruction of everything. This year is a kind of up and down in my relationship. Every time I started to trust someone, they will make me realize I am better being alone, whether they are my family member or a guy I fall in love with (there is only one guy though!). I get jealous every time someone gets too close to someone love and that is in case of friendship as well. I need to understand that I am a part of their life and need to let them live a free life instead of trying to make rule for them. Anyone wants to be independent in their life and we just need to support them.
  4. Mistakes are okay: It is perfectly okay to make mistakes but we also need to understand which mistake we need to prioritize and solve. It is impossible to solve all the problems at once, and that is why we need to know what problem needs to be solved at what time.
  5. Face your problems: Running away from our problems will fuel it and make it impossible for us to solve it later. I have this habit of ignoring my problems and try to sleep it off. Continuously thinking about the problem will only get us anxiety, it is better to focus on the solution because problem will never leave us alone, it will get replaced by a new problem. Instead of worrying about the worries, why not focus on the solutions, right?
  6. Share your happiness, not problems: I always thought that sharing my problems will make me weak but the actual truth is no matter how close we are with a person, nobody continuously wants to hear our problem. I tried an experiment of recording my voice by saying all my problems and tried to listen to it. But guess what happened? Even I don’t to hear my own problem. I know that’s funny but nobody wants negativity in their life. Why not cut the crap, just write down our problems along with the solutions and try to solve it but never read it again.
  7. Learn to say ‘NO’: It is good to say “yes” and reach out to the people who need us. But learning the art of saying no without hurting anyone is also an act of self-love. We need to understand who is good for our health (mentally and physically) and try not to get attached with the wrong one. I understand it is hard to know who the right one for us and vice versa. Take your time; after all time teaches us a lot of things.
  8. Attitude is everything: Yes, attitude is surely everything but the most important thing is keeping the right attitude for the right situation. We should not lose our mind and do whatever feels like when we are angry. Even if we are angry we need to handle situations like a human being who understands the difference between good and bad. The right attitude also doesn’t mean we have to be positive all the time no matter what kind life situations we face.
  9. Not important for everyone: I had a real hard time in accepting the fact that I might not be important for the person who is important for me. If I love a person, I do it unconditionally. And when someone loves unconditionally, that person goes through a lot of heart-breaks and needs to understand the person might not love us back. Therefore either to sign up to not love anyone until someone loves you unconditionally or you love a few of the people in your life let them break your heart and come back stronger than ever.
  10. Keep learning new things: Make learning as a part of daily routine. Read a book or do yoga or learn about the thing which you were passionate as a kid. It will make us active; even though it will be frustrating for the first few days but did we stopped walking when we were learning it for the first time? Even though we would stumble into something or fall, we didn’t stop ourselves from learning.
  11. Wake up every day like starting a new life: I can’t even remember how many times I have started a new life in 2019 which doesn’t necessarily mean I went some unknown place where nobody knows me (happens only in movies). Starting a new life can be practised everyday and it does feel good. To be honest, for me it is really tough to consistently follow a routine, something will always pop-up out of nowhere. So, why not live a life like we just got a new one which will last only one day.
  12. Practice makes everything perfect: Yes, it is really an important line to live by. If we want to do something, we have to start as a beginner and practice it every day. Because no one is born perfect, we have to accept our flaws and keep working on it. All the famous people in the world start as a small, accept their flaws, work hard and make it a part of their life.
  13. If it were easy, everyone would do it: Don’t you think if it were so easy to do what the successful people do, everyone would have done that and be successful and no one had any worries in their life. Nothing is easy or can be done in a day. Don’t get stress over everything. It is okay to get stressed over a thing but not doing anything is not okay. If you are having anxiety and don’t know what to do about it, go to a mental therapy or see a psychiatrist. There is nothing to feel bad or ashamed to seek help to a professional. And it is also okay to visit a doctor alone because it is a part of adulting. (unless someone is not an adult)
  14. Regretting will not change your past: I have a lot of regret in my life and if I could, I would have changed my past but that is impossible. Therefore instead of regretting, it is better to learn what went wrong and try to not make the same mistake in present or future.
  15. Meditation is not the answer but will help: I have tried and miserably failed in it but that doesn’t mean that I will not meditate again. Meditation might be tough for the first few days or even months but it will definitely help to make you calm. Don’t worry; we can meditate any time throughout the day or before sleeping. Have patience and just try it.
  16. Learn to express gratitude: Expressing gratitude over every small thing is not easy. It might feel awkward for the first few times but if we keep this in practice, we will learn how much we are worrying. Instead focusing on the small things will make us realise how far we have come in our life and that will keep us motivated
  17. Be a good listener: Most of us talk, just for the sake of talking but in reality do we even listen to a person about what he/she is really trying to say? Sometimes instead of replying to someone’s’ problem by comparing with ours, we should try asking more about the topic and learn what he/she is trying to say. We might find a solution to our problem as well. I have learnt that we should never react to a problem like “this is nothing, when I was…” We all have our problem or amazing skills or lots of moment out there but just wait for a second and watch the person saying the story, the excitement, expression because won’t you feel amazing if someone does the same with you?
  18. Random act of kindness: Random act can be holding a door open or buying a lunch for a homeless person or cooking something for your loved one or even talking to the old woman living alone next to your house etc. Doing a random act of kindness will not only make us feel great but also will make the other person feel special. I have learnt that doing these things often makes me put a smile throughout the day and keeps my mind with full of positivity.
  19. Master your mindset in all areas: It is easier said than done but if we really want to do it; first we have to learn about our bad and good habits. For instance If I feel really negative about something, I used to sleep it off and try not to deal with it. But the main fact is we have to learn how to fight with the negativity in our mind and for that every time I feel bad about myself, I listen to motivational podcast and try really hard to focus on each and every word the person is saying. I have learnt that the only one that can change my life and get rid of all the negativity is me. So, why not at least try it right?

28 thoughts on “19 Things I learnt in the year 2019

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