Why I don’t like birthdays

Yes, I am writing this on my 27th birthday and I don’t like to celebrate my birthday; I mean what is there to celebrate. Every time I share this, everyone start assuming what tragic could happen on that day because how could anyone hate their birthdays. I don’t hate the day because I was born that day but the idea of celebrating every year by throwing parties or cutting cake.

So, here’s a few reason why I hate it:

  1. I will never know what to do on that specific day. For me, it is just another day of the year. Also, I don’t have friends whom I can invite because I finish my college I don’t call anyone (I hate to talk over phone calls) and they don’t care to call either and in that way, I lose all my contacts with my classmates. Also, this is my day and I get to chose what I want to do on my birthday. So, all I want to do is stay inside my room, stay in my PJ, watch my favourite show while I eat my favourite food. I don’t mind if someone wants to join in. (who will not violate my comfort zone).
  2. I don’t know why to throw parties and get drunk for that day. I generally don’t like throwing parties on my birthdays and my friends/acquaintances might think that I am a little cheapskate or tightwad but honestly, I don’t even know whom to invite to the party and will they be comfortable with each other or what if I call everyone and nobody shows up because they might be busy with their work. In my case, I don’t even like going to birthdays but sometimes I force myself to socialize and have a good relationship with people around me. Because eating alone in a crowded can also be terrifying at some point (no matter, you are in school or in work). It is not that I am going to their birthdays because I might need them in future but I genuinely care that they even invited me to their party and i like to come out of comfort zone because that is what will make me an adult, right?
  3. I get these anxiety on my birthday every year which is why I celebrating birthday. I wasn’t always like this I used to love celebrating birthdays and had a lot of expectations from others on my birthdays like I do for others in their birthday but as I grew up I started realizing how no one care about birthday or does anything special. For me, cutting cake and giving gifts can be done any day in the whole year. I don’t need a reason or occasion to give something to that someone I care about.
  4. I just hate the lime light from the wrong people who don’t care about me the whole year and would show with their artificial wishes on my birthday. Also, I am an introvert which is not the reason why I hate birthdays. This year I told my sister not to order or bake a cake but she did it anyway. I even removed my birthday from my facebook. And it is not that I am ungrateful for all the love and wishes. It is just for a person like me who doesn’t like that kind of attention. (Whether it is in my facebook wall or in real life).
  5. I just hate surprises because I just know how to act surprise. People are always like “You weren’t happy or surprised when I did something for you,” Well, I have this “resting bitch” face and if I genuinely like something I will just smile and this is how I react. I can’t jump like kids or dance on a happy song because someone did something special for me. I know most people of my age do it. I have a lot of extroverts in my family and I have seen their reactions which really disguise me, TBH! And people would talk to me out of nowhere nicely which is really unsettling for me. Thankfully, people don’t call me except for my family. Actually I am not close to anyone so, some don’t even care to call/message and a few just leave messages for the sake of doing it.

I don’t completely hate birthdays but i would love if people would wish or give me gifts because they actually care and not for the sake of birthday. I won’t mind celebrating my birthday with the people who actually care to check on me and will be there for me, even when i am at my worst; like i would do for them.Even though we should not expect too much from others but it feels great when people live up to expectations and shows how much they care just by being there for us.

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